Connecting with your spouse outside of the bedroom MAKES the bedroom worthwhile! Now’s the time to flirt with your spouse again. If you feel disconnected on a daily basis from your love and then expect to have hot and heavy, extraordinary pleasing, love-making moments… yeah, not going to happen. As a matter of fact, that’s probably the LAST thing you want. You want to feel connected, you want to feel loved, you want to be close to continue building up your relationship without feeling the obligation to “put out”. You just wanna feel loved and connected even as life swirls around you. If that’s you… I’ve got 3 non-sexual ways to flirt with your spouse without any expectations thereafter….unless you choose *wink*.
Cook Together – Purposely Touching Hands Together With Background Music
When was the last time you two were together in the kitchen…on purpose…WITH each other? This form of flirting, cooking together, giving a sensual touch without the expectations that sex has to follow is liberating, playful, and who knows…you may even begin to feel some sparks.
Food is a wonderful healer. When used in a healthy context (not emotionally eating), food can really bring a family together. Simply ask your spouse if they have some time to help chop veggies, get out a few ‘heavy’ pans for you as you put your hand on top of his as he hands it to you and hold…
For a moment, just connect. Ask for utensils, walk up behind them and reach around so your bodies are close as you taste the seasonings. Let the flow of the music in the background flow through your body and just be free.
Free from the past, free from the unknown future…just be free in the moment.
Plan Something New
Life is waaay too busy. You’ve got kids, work, sleep, work, kids, lack of sleep, and then lack of intimacy. That was day one. When you truly want to reconnect with your spouse and just BE with them, you’ll decide it’s a priority. Many times women will think that the kids “need” this or that and will focus their limited energies on giving giving giving to the kids with nothing left over for the hubbs.
Then you get mad he’s not spending time with you. C’mon now – it takes two and one of you needs to start it. YOU plan a special day, morning, or evening. Plan it wisely instead of on the fly where it’s unexpected and may get ‘rejected’. Not rejected per se, but it may feel that way if they already have plans at the time you wanted to make that special moment just for the two of you.
Hey, I hear skating is fun!
Reminisce & Gaze
Gosh… just spend TIME together! Talk about some of your favorite dates, funny moments, what it was like to have your first child together, and the like. Just talk. When you feel disconnected from the love you once had, it’s difficult to focus on the good times because you’re living in what you feel is what you don’t want.
Now that you’re ready to just be in their presence and you have a heart full of great memories… gaze at your love. Avoid “reminiscing” while scrolling through your phone. That’s not intimately enhancing the mood. Duh!
Not everything involves sex to connect on a deeper level with your spouse. Actually, it’s probably most likely that couples thrive MORE during non-sexual connections than they do physical connections. It’s all about communication, understanding, respect, speaking their love language, and flirting! If you feel like you are in a dry spell and it’s reeking havoc on how you aren’t connecting as much as you’d like – speak up and take action! The worst thing you could do is expect and wait for them to do it.