Why You Should Never Wait For Him To Make You Happy – I Am Coach Andi

Why You Should Never Wait For Him To Make You Happy

Making me happy

Okay, there's probably a myriad of books out there telling you exactly how to be happy...but, I'm warning you...if you are waiting for this magical "ah ha" moment from your husband, that suddenly he "gets" it and starts showing up for you...to make YOU happy...

Stop. Waiting.  If you want to be happy for good. 

Your happiness isn't dictated by others' actions, words, or what they do or don't do for you. It's what you do for yourself...FIRST!  #IntimateSelfCare

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This is why he'll never make you happy...Just yet.

how to be happy when you're sad

“He just doesn’t make me happy anymore.”

He's not making you feel loved, appreciated, valued, or initiating non-sexual intimacy (like holding hands, kisses just to touch you, etc.) you once had together. So now you complain (directly or indirectly) that he works too much. He's not helping with the dishes and the kids like you expected. He's not helping with keeping up your bedroom as a place of intimacy and connectedness (perhaps he's not even in the bedroom anymore).

You thought your husband, the groom you swooned over at the alter (or in front of the judge) would bring you continually happiness and joy. And now...he's your source of unhappiness.

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Bluntly & Simply: Your marriage wasn’t designed to bring you happiness. 

Once you realize this, the expectations you had/have that was, quite frankly, unfairly placed on your husband, begin to dissipate. Let's face it... your husband isn't you... he can't know your every desire, need, or expectation 24/7 (or even 1/7!).  No husband can do that.

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How To Be Happy: WITH Your Husband

The first thing you do...accept that no one could ever make you happy. But be honest with yourself...what is happiness to you and how do you really get it?

Start your own personal journey to happiness.

Your happiness is your responsibility. It will do you no good to look for external circumstances, certain people, or forms of validation to create your happiness.

  • If you don't feel loved - how are you neglecting ways to love yourself?
  • If you aren't feeling valued and appreciated by your husband - how are you avoiding or 'beating yourself up' for what  you aren't doing perfectly as a mom or businesswoman?
  • If you aren't getting the non-sexual and emotionally supported intimacy you desire - how are you rejecting and not accepting other forms of love-expressions in your life (especially for yourself - ie. self-care, allowing vulnerability with others, etc.)

Begin by taking ownership of your feelings and your emotions. They are in your control! There's no reason to continue to blame everyone (like your husband) for your emotions and how you choose to feel. This only leads to continual disappointment and starts to validate reasons to divorce.

Take back your power of happiness. 

I get it. He's there, he's around, and it's hard to 'ignore' the feelings that come up while being around him. But the next time you feel yourself getting frustrated or annoyed, stop and ask yourself: 

Who does this help, because it's not helping me!?

Are these feelings going to make the problem go away?

Will being annoyed at him hurt anyone but me?

Like you will, I realized that these negative emotions towards myself (and self) aren't actually helping me. However, in that present moment, you, like I did, have the power to choose how you feel.

And guess what? I started to choose happiness for ME. One mini-micro choice at a time and in the moment. Then this happened...

I stopped being resentful at my husband because he wasn't making me happy anymore.

I was becoming happy with myself​​​​ and then - ​​I became happy WITH him.

Making me happy

Struggling with this? You aren't the only one. 

Are there similar little sneaky lies about your marriage you've come to believe? Have those beliefs kept you stuck from truly finding happiness with your husband? 

You aren't the only one!  See how my marriage went from FAILING to FANTASTIC when I, too, believed those sneaky and invading lies that crept into our marriage and nearly separated us for good. 

You can stop being resentful at your husband because they aren’t making you happy anymore. Because now... you KNOW what makes you happy & you choose to be. #HesABonus

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Recap To Your Happiness

Start your own personal journey to happiness.

  • No longer let others' actions or words dictate how you feel.
  • Begin by taking ownership of your feelings and your emotions.
  • He CAN'T make you happy, but he can enhance how you already feel (your own happiness enhanced).

Want to know YOUR exact 7-Steps To Happiness? 


Each week I post a new chapter with some marriage enhancing strategies on my blog -bookmark this page! 

THE Best place to stay connected directly with me is on my FB Page → Your Q’s answered and any private messages will be personally seen my me!

NO ONE is talking about Business & Pleasure support like women need (at least I haven’t seen anyone else really doing it). Soo….drop a comment below on what YOU think is needed in the women’s biz+pleasure (that’s your marriage) world!

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About the Author

Coach Andi, THE Intimacy 4-Evers Expert I mentor married female entrepreneurs to increase non-sexual intimacy so they can have conversations that don’t feel like they’re being stabbed in the back and have an even deeper emotional connection with their husbands... forever. All the while building a bad@ss business.

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